when you can look and see the stars for what they are,
no greater or lesser--
mom is dying and dad has changed,
there's a bottle on the floor

and i can feel it behind me,
i'm not afraid, but i should be
and when i wake up it fades
and i can't remember anything

but he still sits there, staring not seeing
angry bruises mark his hands
she drops the pills in the sink
washes away the bitter taste of healing

if you've told me once,
you've told me a thousands times
but now i know i no longer regret being alive