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last chance texaco |
| 2002-06-23 : 12:35 a.m...all i ever wanted |
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ITEM! the oscar meyer weinermobile was pulled over in washington d.c. in accordance with new laws that state vehicles with more than six wheels are no longer allowed to drive on the streets alongside the pentagon, the capitol, or the white house in a deterrent against truck bombs. seems every precaution we take against further attacks just makes us look like bigger assholes. ITEM! a south korea man committed suicide by setting himself on fire. in his suicide note, he said that the south korean soccer team was going to need extra help against latin american and european soccer teams in the world cup, and that his death was going to allow him to become "the 12th man" on the pitch for south korea. i guess it worked, because they beat spain the other night in a sudden death tiebreaker. stay tuned as the world drowns further and further in its own weirdness. |